| yo |
[04 Oct 2004|09:16pm] |
|
yo
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| like a snowfall, you said you will never be close |
[20 Sep 2004|10:42pm] |
hello all.
well didnt update in some time. how am i? well actually im very well. im actually enjoying my classes in school, and im working alot soo im making mad paper. im still lil disappointed that i dont get to see my people in the other towns. but other then that i have never been much happier. it was very coldish today, autumn is right around the corner, and everyone will be wearin sweaters and drinking hot drinks.I can't wait till it snows. and i can lay down and look at the stars. i found the most amazing place to look up at them, everything looks amazing. thats it for now .....o wait
Don't you climb off my movie screen.
You suit perfect in blue light.
When you embrace my head and turn my eyes red.
Your rhythm is mine.
To break bones with only knives in you mind.
And I say later.
Grace, I'm okey cause I've got a new name.
Don't talk to remind
I've got so much faith that i don't want to rewind.
ryan hunter edmundson
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| like a snowfall, you said you would glow |
[20 Sep 2004|10:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 good |
] |
| [ |
music |
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smiths like whoa |
] |
hello all.
well didnt update in some time. how am i? well actually im very well. im actually enjoying my classes in school, and im working alot soo im making mad paper. im still lil disappointed that i dont get to see my people in the other towns. but other then that i have never been much happier. it was very coldish today, autumn is right around the corner, and everyone will be wearin sweaters and drinking hot drinks.I can't wait till it snows. and i can lay down and look at the stars. i found the most amazing place to look up at them, everything looks amazing. thats it for now .....o wait
Don't you climb off my movie screen.
You suit perfect in blue light.
When you embrace my head and turn my eyes red.
Your rhythm is mine.
To break bones with only knives in you mind.
And I say later.
Grace, I'm okey cause I've got a new name.
Don't talk to remind
I've got so much faith that i don't want to rewind.
ryan hunter edmundson
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| the end of summer |
[07 Sep 2004|09:03pm] |
well summer is over in 3 hours. seriously the time flew very quickly. i did nothing really that exciting this summer, but it had its good moments and also its bad moments. i'm surprised i actually learned alot bout life and and my future this summer as well. i learned the real feeling of love, and also the pure heartbreak of love. i learned that everythign is not perfect, and doesnt go ur way, and u just have to move on ..which is hard, and i still didnt do yet but thats not the point. I learned what true friends are, you can get in arguments but still in the end u have the love...well most the time. I've learned what sex, drugs, and rock and roll are all about. I have met so many new faces and i feel more loved everyday, and i thank all my friends for keeping me cheery and as strong as u can keep me. Theres soo much i can say but i am kinda stomped. i just feel even tho the summer was not that exciting..or soo i thought, but actually it was amazing. I'm gunna miss this summer. I feel like im gunna be in enclosed in a envelope and you wont see me...put when u open the envelope u will see me. I'm goin to not see my true friends that much this year. i will be stuck in ghetto capital of the world also know as kearny. I have made a promise to myself that this year i will try my very best becuase my last 2 years i have been doing soo bad, and the only person i am really hurting is myself. Soo even tho im soo stupid and dumb when it comes to school, im gunna stay in and try very hard to do good even if it takes my weekends away, or my nites or whatever.
In conclusion im gunna miss the summer cuz i feel i grew soo much as a person and even though it sound gay im actually starting my real journey into the big world, and this summer as been soo carefree and let me just do whatever i want but now i have to give that up. I really dont know what that meant but o well.
ryan hunter edmundson
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| suck me fuckers |
[30 Aug 2004|04:05pm] |
yo niggers
im writing this entry for a certain reason. a lot of people have been writing shit and making myspaces bout hating on the wallington people. my first reaction was whoa gay and second wtf. ok you guys are seriously acting liek ur five. who gives a fuck bout even if they do come here i mean for gods sake ur sign that says rutherford it also says "where ur always welcome". all you people have to stop being cocky bitchs and grow up. i mean i proply shouldnt say anything because i dont live in ruthorford but still when i first read some of the stuff its kind of liek talking bout me. you basicially saying that certain girls or boys cant hang out with there b/f or g/fs. they have to go to another town? i mean i no for a fact when all the wallignton people came here all the girls are like "omg there soo hott" or something of that nature. what u can't handle a lil competition? I mean i no one person that does agree with the not liking them, yet you use to want to get wiht one . fucking hypocrites. Seriously all i got to say is that if anyone has a problem with them come to talk to me because you proply dont even no them.
ryan hunter edmundson
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[16 Aug 2004|02:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the victory year |
] |
FIRSTS
First screen name: bykes168
First piercing/tattoo: ears
First credit card: dont have one
First enemy: this kid roberto but i kicked his ass good soo its all good.
First concert: elton john hell yeah!
First musician you remember hearing in your house: james taylor
LASTS
Last big car ride: philly
Last kiss: 4th of july
Last library book: umm i dunno
last movie seen: halloween 8 on demand....that was really bad
In the theatre: the village
Last food consumed: 12 inch sub
Last phone call: russo
Last CD played: jimmy eat world-clarity
Last soda drank: diet coke
Last time scolded: i dunno
SHORT ANSWER
I AM: very stupid, unkool boy
I WANT: a girlfriend
I HAVE: a bellybutton
I WISH: i could have someone to call mine
I HATE: when people hate you for no reason.
I WONDER: if its possible to eat everything on a menu.
I LOVE: the smiths
I ACHE: heart
I ALWAYS: have to pee
I AM NOT: a homosexual
I DANCE: well kinda i just liek pretend im a lead singer and like pretend i have a mic and im liek hells yeah and go crazy.
I SING: bad
I CRY: when its time 2.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: listening to u. i think i have a.d.d
I WRITE: music
I WIN: seelo
I LOSE: friends
I CONFUSE: alot people when i talk online
I NEED: you.
I SHOULD: get a huge monkey and get it to bite people
YES or NO
YOU KEEP A DIARY: kinda
YOU LIKE TO COOK: i can make eggs cereal and cheese sandwichs.
YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVEN'T SHARED WITH ANYONE: yes
DO YOU...?
HAVE A CRUSH: i think every1 does.
WANT TO GET MARRIED:hells yeah and 9 babys
GET MOTION SICKNESS: nope
THINK YOU'RE A HEALTH FREAK: kinda
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: no
LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: yea sometimes
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: dirty blond
BIRTHPLACE: passaic.nj nigga!
FAVORITES
NUMBER: 6371
COLOR: pink and black
DAY: during the summer mondays...then mostly fridays
MONTH: april
SONG(S):anything by the smiths<3
SEASON: fall
DRINK: powerade the shit
PREFERENCES
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: cuddle ...hold hands anythign of that nature
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: chocolate soymilk
MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: dont really eat it tha much
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: mix it bitch hells yeah
IN THE LAST DAY, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? yes
HELPED SOMEONE? yes
BOUGHT SOMETHING? 12 inch sandwich
GOTTEN SICK? nope...im pretty healthy
GONE TO THE MOVIES? willams center
SAID 'i love you'?: yes
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: i was working on one but no use of finishing it now
TALKED TO AN EX?: yea
MISSED AN EX?: hells yeah
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: yeh
HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: sort of
MISSED SOMEONE?: i miss alot people
HUGGED SOMEONE?: yes alot.
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND?:yes.
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| word.. |
[15 Aug 2004|02:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crappy |
] |
I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
to everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
just to forget your sweater so far
I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your undecisive mind shows me that
you are "just another girl"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
maybe then you'd know how I feel
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
to everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
just to forget your sweater so far
I can honestly say
that I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
that cause my comatose to begin
I can honestly say
that I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
that cause my comatose to begin
I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
with words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
"All hail the heartbreaker"
ryan hunter edmundson
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| my day |
[06 Aug 2004|01:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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bruce springsteen |
] |
wokeup
shake
hang out time
laying on grass with lira,sam,and juna
thats bout it except
I'm sad to here liam had a party, because im the one who told him to have one soon.
this party consisted of...
lots of beer
girls kissing random boys
punching peoples lips
screaming out old past memories
telling people they never drink
andrew+alan murruy
and telling random people "ur sooo hott"
it seems like i missed all the fun....but remember kids living well is the best revenge
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| my day |
[29 Jul 2004|12:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
feeling left out-razor |
] |
woke up
ran
watched catch me if u can
talked shit about people that i didnt realy even mean
they all got mad
had amazing sandwich
saw scottie work his ass off
had great nite with lira ,russo,nina and vin with the question game
big long conversation bout bad stuff
after all the dramma
i never felt soo good!!
ryan hunter edmundson
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| im back bitches and hoes and alan. |
[24 Jul 2004|12:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
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bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cheap trick |
] |
hey all u kids!!!!!
well alot stuff has happened....as for my last entry..to conclude that, just put it this way...the red bench broke. anyway i feel much better now when i wake up. i wake up and ride my lowriders around and write music.i just chill i guess u could say. i really dont knwo wat to say....sooo umm i love u all
ryan hunter edmundson
p.s i will just and update everyday
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| hell yea! |
[30 Jun 2004|11:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cheaptrick |
] |
soo ur sitting down on a very basic red bench. ur in the middle of this bench. between you are 2 very good looking, caring, great beautiful girls. one side u have the girl of ur dreams. the other side u have the girl that u see urself with for a great period of time. now u need to make a decison, but how could u decide? should u just walk up from the bench and never look back and just say fuck it while u have the saves the day lyric " is it his brown eyes, i know blue eyes get boring by it" and ur ready to explode and u just want to hit urself liek in fight club and u wish the kid next to would kick the living shit out of u soo maybe u could think for once in your life and all this pressure builts up soo much much until it overflows like water filling up a pot.... but yet u calm down and u think over and over again that this problem in your head coudl just be in ur head..or are u just fucked up in the head....and thing i wanna no is how do all this problems occur ...is this mankind or is it some sorry excuse to figure out something. they say everythign happens for one reason or another. how is this possible half of things are just bull shit to begin with. i just think that life is soo hard and annoyin yet enjoyable at the same time. i just imagine if everything will ever go MY way cuz it never does. im always the one thats sitting in the middle od the bench with the people i care about around me yet im looking at the floor singing " is it his brown eyes?"
ryan hunter edmundson
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| hey guys. |
[18 Jun 2004|10:36pm] |
hey guys i need ur opnions....should i ungage my ears...cuz i dont want to have big fuckin holes in my ear when im 30 and shit sooo....respond bak tell me ur feelings on this
ryan hunter edmundson
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| my week |
[13 Jun 2004|02:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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smashign punkings-today |
] |
this week i have everythign planed out.
mon- gay school,exams gay, sleep
tues-gay school,exams, last day wat wat. goin to bills and/or hanging with jew.
wed-gettin my haircut...kinda nervous but o well. then goin to bills i think again.
thurs- hopefully goin to the city anyone wanna come?
i dunno the rest of the week
commant u fucks ...
ryan hunter edmundson
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| you get bored when u cant go out. |
[11 Jun 2004|02:31pm] |
Name: Ryan Hunter Edmundson
Birthdate: jan. 24. 88
Birthplace: paramus
Current location: kearny
Eyes: blue
Hair: dirty blond
Height: 5'5
Righty or Lefty: righty
Zodiac Sign: aqauius
Your heritage: chec mix,scotish,polish,french
Your weakness: wendys.
Your shoes you wore today: white converse
Your fears: anythign that results of me dieing or gettin hurt
Your thoughts first waking up: i have to pee.
Your best physical feature: ummm maybe my eyes some pleople liek blue eyes?
Your bedtime: umm.
Your most missed memory: when i was young kid playin hockey. and i was soo happy .
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: wendys
Single or group dates: never went on a date and def not group.it would end up liek the one on good burger the movie damn.
Adidas or Nike: adidas
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: clintons ice tea.
Chocolate or vanilla: its all good
Cappuccino or coffee: coffee
Smoke: nop
Cuss: yes
Sing: i try.
Take showers daily: yep
Have a crush: yes, of coarse
Think you've been in love: nope
Want to go college: not really
Want to get married: yes
Believe in yourself: kinda not
Get motion sickness: no
think you're attractive: not at all
Think you're a health freak: my dad is.
Get along with your parents: no
Like thunderstorms: yes
Play an instrument: yes drums,guitar, bass
-in the past months-
Gone to the mall: i dunno
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: well i dunno when i get tehm they dont come in boxes they come in like that plastic shit, and i ate 1 and half of those.
Eaten sushi: yes
Been on stage: yes
Gone skating: yes
Made homemade cookies: my mom has for me and i hate like all of them in 7 mins.
Gone skinny dipping: one day.
Dyed your hair: bak in the day
-ever..-
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
Been called a tease: no
Got beaten up: no
Age you hoped to be married: whenever i fall in love
Number and name of children: 17.....names still yet to be decided.
Dream wedding: for it to be a dream.
How do you want to die: a rockstar!!!!!! i dunno
Where do you want to attend college: a good one?
Dream job: being a rockstar...seriously lol
Country you want to visit: japan, get me self a nice chinese baby
-In a guy/girl...-
Best eye color: doesnt matter
Best hair color: brown or black
Short or long hair: whcih ever looks good on her
Height: shorter i geuss cuz im short
Best clothing: cute cloths
Best first date location: ummm
Best first kiss location: ummm
Number of drugs taken illegally: k.
Number of people I could trust with my life: no.
Number of CDs that I own: 127 vinyls bitch!
Number of piercings: 2
Number of tattoos: none
Number of times my name's been in the news: never.
Number of scars on my body: a couple
Number of things in my past that I regret: i dont no
current clothing: plain white t girl hollister jeans white cons.
current mood: kinda sick/bored
current taste: my mouth
current hair: everywhere
current annoyance: my stupid fuckign neighbors that are playin b-balla nd its soo fuckin annoying i hate them die u adopted fuck!!!!!!
current smell: febreeze
current thing you ought to be doing: i dont no.
current jewelry: earings
current book: crooked
current refreshment: water
current worry: me not passing school
current favorite celebrity: gidean yago
current longing: girlfriend
current music: tguk
current wish: g/f
current lyric in your head: " im vindicated"
current regret: records.
current desktop picture: AKH
current disappointment: penis
current IM/person you're talking to: anthony bernice.
current love: every1 knows soo...
current obsession: wendys
current avoidance: school
current favorite movie: naked lunch.
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| school. |
[09 Jun 2004|12:39pm] |
im in school right now....every1 is just reviewing the shit for the exams mad gay. i got out of english b/c we werent doin anything and i was bored . it is sooo hott. anyway tomomow is my first exams. then i got to study the whole weekend, cuz im grounded for a stuoid ass reason. im really pissed cuz now i cant go to the MCR show. my parents are cunts. im gunna be soo bored this weekend cuz i no i wont study at all. thats it for now i guess.
ryan hunter edmundson
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| penis |
[06 Jun 2004|09:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 scared |
] |
| [ |
music |
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b.e bitch! |
] |
Name one thing you love about me
Now one thing you hate
And now copy and Paste this in your LJ
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| weekend |
[06 Jun 2004|01:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
get up kids-new found mass |
] |
ok this weekend was blah u no but the main reeason for this entry are for my dear friends andrew and alan.
well from wat i heard, andrew got arrested for speeding with his friend pat and they found vodka and pot and shit. i feel soo bad cuz it seems , that soo much bad stuff happens to andrew and hes such a great kid really.
well then i heard alan got cought stealin cloths from kohls. and they got arrested and have to go to court. it sux, cuz even tho i wasnt there i feel like im totally resonsible for this.
i just hope i will see them this summer. i wish u gusy the best of luck even tho u proply wont even see this.
Ryan hunter Edmundson
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| i dont know |
[02 Jun 2004|10:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
full |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
smashing pumnkins-daydream |
] |
i have not updated in awhile.
i finshed reading pure sunshine it was pretty good.
now im reading the 5 people u meet in heaven its soo weird how the first part its like....15 mins left on earth.......10 mins on earth but its good soo far.
have not been doin alot latly except eating 2 jr bacon cheeseburgers,2 99 cent chicken nugguts and large frie from wendys everyday.
i got some new cloths....i got a shirt that says i middle finger la its sexy ...i got bunch of other shirts but there either to big or small.
tell youy bout my boring weekend
my parents are gone for the week, so i have the house to myself. and hoenstly im scared lol . i dunno arfaid some1 will brake in and like kill me.
random event i thought i should say is that i love when mike drives his car and i take a nice large coke and slamm it against a car. anyway
i saw gaby and pam this weekend. fun times in khols tryng on kids cloths. heart u guys
linnea saw them at some point and they were good as hell.mike rose is the next drum god period.also enjoyed the consequence, and emma was pretty good 2. it seems these days if u have a black guy ur good.anyway
anyway watver
Ryan hunter edmundson
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| thursday |
[13 May 2004|08:50pm] |
today in school was kinda kool.
morning we had a class meeting bout like preseident and all that shit how gay.
i stole another dunkin doughnuts sign
ok then this aweosome thign happened...
my school caught on fire lol
i thoguht it was just a drill,but when i got to the second floor i saw the fire i was liek FUCK LOL.
i was a lil disappointed...i would wish that the whoel school would burn down.
some kid put a lit cig in it and it caught fire the second floor lockers. now like a bunch of thme are fucked up.
thats all that was exciting ...
tommomow is friday and i planning on just findign a nice place to read all nite cuz im gay like that.
ryan hunter edmundson
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| been thinkign alot |
[11 May 2004|06:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dashboard confessional-swiss army romance |
] |
its kool to fake romances and grow up fast....mr carrabba is soo right. i finally realized ...after talking to many friends bought my problems with my life, liek chris romglia, and andrew russo i felt a lil better but still not satisfied. i bet that most peopel dont no the tru def. of love or even the word like. people today..base everything on looks. i ask myself alot how do u know you love some1. i say "ryan u know u dont liek her u just think shes cute" but the thing is when ur heart stops and u cant even like move when u see that certain person. ur just frozen. i feel tahst love.seeing them in your head at school when ur dumb teacher is talking bout some dumb gay angle crap and u see urself holding them, loving them, just being happy. cuz im not happy as of now. i mean i underatnd if certain peopel love certain people, cuz thats awesome..but when u talk to them or just say hi and then u say i liek them or love them...umm bullshit...too many fake people. try to hind themselfs threw make out, not eating, any thign they coudl think of to look beautiful. to be the best they can be. as the world lost the manign of true love. or are we brianwashed by the most beauitufl people on tv. or is it all about sex? most guys " i want to fuck her!!!" ummm ok ..tahts nice but do u relalyc are bout her. if girls actually liek gettin beeped at sayign ncie ass or watver then honestly i feel sorry for u then. it just seems the world is based on nuttin anymore. every1 is brainwashed. dont they dont uunderstand that the personality is more important then the outside. i mean im proply just writing this cuz i cant get her and the funny thing is i knwo that for a fact. but if likign a girl sicne last summer isnt enough then i dunno wat is. i bet that every1 that will read this, they can think of at least one person that just makes u feel liek heaven liek u belong,like the most important person ever. love is soo hard,i realize that soo much now. conor-love is just an excuse to get hurt. maybe hes right cuz he sees people that dont go together. man its soo funny i really sont even no wat im tryin to prove anymore. i guess basicially i love a girl that i know i can never have. and i fucked up alot saying i like dcertain people, cuz honestly i was brianwashed as well. but now i know wat the truth is..and honestly i dont want to fake love anymore. im just a 5'5 short , not very cute 16 year old boy lost in this big world with nuttint o hold on or say tahts mine. only thing i think i could love is music, but i cant even do that anymore. i just dont no i love fuckin love that certain person soo much and theres nuttin i could do to have her . and im sad about that but like mr carrabba said "the farther i push the further i fall" soo that how im gunna look at it i guess.im proply always gunna liek her 2, but untill i can find some1 i love even more then her, then fuck it i will just be a lonly gay emo boy cuz tahst wat im good at .
ryan hunter edmundson
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